8/94-6/27/06

One of the loves of my heart is gone. . taken away by the ravages of CRF & Anemia. My house is so damn empty without her funny little calico face, and I will miss her curled up with her puppy Obie or curled up in bed with me. Unlike humans, animals only hurt us by leaving too damn soon.   Unfortunately, less than a year after I lost her, I have lost her puppy and it's breaking my heart.

A few weeks before I lost Cleo, a good friend of mine lost one of Kyra's youngest grandpuppies, at least Cleo'll have someone to snuggle with in heaven. She always did love her babies. I don't know what I'm going to do when the next litter is born here. It definitely won't be the same.

In March 06, Cleo was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure. Having just put her buddy Sushi down due to complications with the same problem, I thought it was a death sentence. I literally took her home, to tell her goodbye, before putting her down. Within 24 hrs, she'd made some turnaround, and the Ex said we could not put her down.

With the help of a large group of wonderful people, we had four months of mostly good times. It was only this last weekend that she truly failed and I came home to find her collapsed on the bed. I rushed her to the vet and my hands were the last to touch her as she crossed the bridge and my mouth was the last to kiss her. It hurts so damn much, but at least she's not in pain anymore, and Schatzi, Sushi & Kyra are waiting for her. And I know she's waiting for her puppy to cross that bridge, and also know he'll be in good hands when he does.

I've learned more about this problem then I ever wanted to know, and I now know why people don't even bother trying to fight it. It's a drain emotionally and mentally. I am thankful she allowed me a pretty much worry free trip to Vegas to see my little sister Graduate, and my extremely ill Grandmother before I lost her, just a week after I returned. Thank you, Mamasita, you don't know how much that meant to me.

Cleo & Obie
More photos

Cleo spent most of her extended life being a normal kitty. She didn't hide, slept with me until the very end.  I bought her a cube bed to sleep with to keep the other cats from tromping on her and she'd stay there until bedtime, then demand to be under the covers as close to me as she could get. Up until yesterday, she enjoyed her window time, watching the birds and the puppies play. I have treasured every extra minute I got with her, but can't believe how much it bloody hurts to know she's not going to be in bed with me tonight.  It's just not freaking fair.

Tis fitting that these beautiful star lillies decided to bloom today, and they'll always remind me of her firey personality.  It is also fitting that the sky has opened up its gates to cry with me.

More pics of Cleo & Obie.

If your feline baby has been diagnosed with this horrid disease, do not despair. Please visit these links, and learn more about how to deal with it.

Feline-CRF-Support Group
Feline Phospherous Management Group
Feline Anemia
Caring for CRF Felines
These groups have been heavensent whenI felt lost and confused on how to deal with this problem.

And thankyou to Dr McMacken & his darling wife Dr Rehder who as always didn't give up until I did. We just ran out of miracles, or heaven needed a special little angel.

Cleo moved in with us as an adult Aug of 95. She was supposed to be just a foster kitty, but ended up staying. She quickly come to tolerate the dogs, and we found her a number of times curled up on the couch with one  of them.

She was one sassy little calico, but sweet. My Vet told me she was an unusual calico in that manner.  She graced our house for 11.5 yrs, and it is definitely emptier without her funny little grunting meows.

 She earned the nickname 'Mama' because of the way she loves to nursemaid anyone who's sick, whether canine or human. After her dog Obie had surgery at 4.5 wks, I found her curled up with him quite often. I don't know what I'll do tonite with her to cry on as she was always there for me.

She was a bossy little thing and if you were not in bed by 10 pm, she was there telling me that it's BEDTIME. She always tucked me in for bed at night and often times I've had to fight her for the heating pad I use on my bad shoulder.

She was the reigning princess, and I adored and will adore her forever.

 I knew that the amount of time she had with me is uncertain, I had just hoped it would be longer, much longer. Four months was just not long enough.  I gave her everything she wanted and more.  She maintained her diagnosis weight until shortly before the very end, as well as maintained her personality. Even last night, sick as she was, she demanded a few head scritches.

One of Cleo's favorite spots to sleep
 

My heart aches thinking of going to sleep without my "Mamasita" tucking me in at night. It doesn't take much for them to wrap their claws into your heart, and when you lose them, you feel like your heart has been ripped to shreds.